Are you outta your mind!
by RecliningHorizontally
Summary: Kid!Stiles story inspired by an interview where Dylan talks about one of the first times he got in trouble. Warning: Tiny bit of parental spanking, so if that is not for you then move on.


**A kid!Stiles story inspired by an interview where Dylan talks about the first time he got in trouble. **

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Stiles sat on the couch, swinging his legs wildly. He already felt somewhat bored and if he didn't find anything to do here the next hour was gonna suck. Big time! Being towed along for this kind of stuff wasn't overly exhilarating and the boy sighed to himself. He wished he could have gone with Scott and his parents to visit Melissa's mom, but it turned out that stealing your teacher's keys would get you in trouble when your dad was a deputy!

The seven year old looked around but found nothing too exiting. Both his parents and the Millers had left the room a few minutes ago to take a tour around the house so Claudia could get a better idea of what she was selling. Why his dad had joined Claudia that day Stiles wasn't entirely sure - something about the Millers' grown son wanting to make a career change to law enforcement or something.

"Mom? Dad?" Stiles said but didn't receive an answer. "Mom? Dad?" he tried once more just to be sure they weren't close by.

When he still didn't get an answer he stood up on the couch and gave it a jump. The boy smiled deviously to himself when he realized that he had finally found something to do to pass the time. The blue sofa squeaked loudly when the antsy boy started bouncing up and down, and soon Stiles was practically killing the old couch with his continued wild jumping. Small clouds of dust rose from the cushions whenever his sneakers hit them and the creaking noises continually increased in volume.

xxx

He was midair when Mrs. Miller and his mom entered the room. Claudia immediately opened her eyes wide and sent the frowning Mrs. Miller an apologetic look.

"_Stiles!_" she hissed in a loud voice making her son let out a startled screech, "get down _right_ now!"

Stiles miscalculated his movements and instead of landing on the couch he hit the armrest before tumbling to the floor with a pained "oomph". Claudia was by his side in seconds and instantly checked him for injuries.

"Are you okay, honey?" she asked, concern lacing her words.

Stiles flexed his right arm and looked at his scraped elbow. Then he sniffed a bit, before raising his eyes to meet those of his mom.

"Yeah, I'm fine mom."

Claudia quickly kissed his head before pulling him to his feet.

"You _don't_ jump on someone else's couch Stiles, are we clear?"

"Yes, mom," the boy said and turned to the older woman in the room, "sorry Mrs. Miller, I won't do it again."

Mrs. Miller nodded curtly.

"It's okay, Stiles. You can go look around the house if you behave," she said and then shifted her gaze to Claudia.

"Shall we get on with the tour?" Mrs. Miller asked.

Claudia spun Stiles around to face the door to the hall and sent him off with a pat to his butt.

"Go explore the house Stiles," she said, "and no more jumping on furniture!"

"Okay," the boy exclaimed as he ran out the living room.

xxx

Stiles looked around the hall. There wasn't much excitement to be found there. Doors to the adjacent rooms, the staircase to the first floor and an umbrella stand; not exactly thrilling stuff. Stiles pushed one of the doors open and took a peek inside. It was the office and Mr. Miller and John were looking some papers over.

"Hi Dad," Stiles said and John turned to look at his son.

"Hey, kiddo. Do me a favor and go play for a little while okay, we're almost done with this paper stuff,"

"'Kay," Stiles nodded and backed out of the room.

He sighed to himself and looked around. What now? Then he felt his stomach growl and he realized it had been hours since he had had anything to eat. He pushed open a door and smiled. The kitchen! The boy hurried inside and quickly opened the pantry, hoping to find some snacks. His jaw dropped when all that was there were prunes, dates and nuts. What kind of sucky snacks were those, he thought to himself and pouted. Stiles silently closed the pantry and instead went to the fridge. After some pulling he finally managed to rip it open at the exact moment his mom and Mrs. Miller entered from the living room and his dad and Mr. Miller came in from the hall.

"What are you _doing_?" his mom shrieked loudly.

"Lookin' for food!" the boy stated and sent his mother a confused glare, "they only have crappy snacks!"

In mere seconds John reached his son and grabbed him harshly by his shirt. He yanked Stiles backwards and out of the kitchen to the hall.

"Are you outta your mind?!" he roared making Stiles flinch.

"But, I was just hungry," the boy said in a tiny voice.

"Then you come find a grown up, you do NOT open the fridge at someone's house, Stiles. Now, go apologize!" John said sternly.

Stiles felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach. He didn't want to go into the kitchen again with all the angry adults.

"I don't want to," he tried, but John put a hand around the back of his neck and pushed him to the kitchen.

His mom's face was flushed from embarrassment and Stiles realized he had done something bad. A tear threatened to fall as the little boy peeked up at the very angry looking Mrs. Miller.

"I-I'm sorry," Stiles said miserably.

"Hmf," she huffed dismissively and Stiles looked to Mr. Miller instead.

"I accept your apology Stiles," he said, clearly not as upset as his wife.

"I'm really sorry about this," Claudia mumbled.

"Eh, boys'll be boys, I reckon," Mr. Miller said with a wave of his hand before turning his attention back to Stiles.

"There's an old toy airplane on the dresser in the bedroom upstairs," he said, "if you promise to be careful you can take it down."

Stiles' eyes widened. Planes were cool!

"I promise!" he exclaimed and bounded off towards the staircase in the hall.

"Behave!" John yelled and ran a hand through his hair.

"Lots of energy, that one!" Mr. Miller concluded with a small smile.

"You have no idea!" Claudia and John let out at the same time. Stiles could definitely be a handful. Or two. Or ten!

xxx

Stiles turned the door knob and scanned the room. When he didn't see an airplane he went to the next door instead. There was no plane there either, but Stiles went in anyway. The Millers had a huge soft looking bed. It would be perfect for bouncing on and Stiles felt extremely tempted. But he remembered his mother's words about not jumping on the furniture and didn't feel like getting into any more trouble.

He looked around once more for the toy airplane. Maybe Mr. Miller had meant in the dresser and not on the dresser. Stiles went over to the large piece of furniture and opened one of the top drawers. He let out a laugh when a humongous brassiere with a floral design nearly jumped out in his face. When he finished laughing Stiles looked at the bra again. He grabbed it and, testing the elasticity, decided it would be an awesome slingshot. Then he looked around for something that could work as the base. In the closet he found a broken hanger that would do the trick, and Stiles quickly wrapped the straps from the bra around the hanger. Now he just needed some ammo and after rummaging around he decided on the socks and panties from the open top drawer.

Stiles went to the window and pushed it open. Then he placed a pair of socks in the middle of the makeshift slingshot and pulled back. As he released his hold the socks took flight and soared through the air. They made it all the way to the middle of the neighbor's front yard and Stiles cheered loudly. Best slingshot ever, he thought with a wide smile. He fired two more pairs of socks onto the neighbor's lawn and then realized he would have to go get them, so instead he turned around and took aim at the door. One, two, three pairs of socks quickly made their mark and when Stiles saw that he had run out of socks he just grabbed Mrs. Miller's floral panties and balled them up.

Just as he pulled back for another panty-shot he heard voices outside the door.

"Stiles?" he heard his mom call.

"Maybe he's in here," Mrs. Miller said.

Stiles fired the undergarments just as the door opened and mid-flight the panties unfolded like a parachute, then landed directly on Mrs. Miller's head. The elderly lady let out a scared shriek and Stiles froze, the slingshot in hand. His mom and dad quickly popped up in the door, their eyes widening at the mess in the room.

"STILES!" Claudia boomed, making her son drop the bra-and-hanger-slingshot to the floor as a feeble attempt to look more innocent.

Mrs. Miller peeled the panties off her head, her cheeks flushed from anger.

"I think we'll use another realtor, Mrs. Stilinski!" she hissed and looked around her now messy bedroom.

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Miller" Claudia sighed and threw Stiles a furious look.

John took three steps forward and grabbed his son by the arm.

"Clean up this mess _immediately_!" he hissed and gave Stiles a shake.

When John released his hold on Stiles the boy quickly started gathering the socks and placed them back in the drawer along with the panties and bra. He went to the closet to put the hanger back as well and sent his parents a quick glance.

"Oh my God," Claudia mumbled, "you opened the closet as well!"

Stiles bit his lip, feeling the tension in the room and nodded.

"I'm sorry," he said and looked at the angry expression on his dad's face.

"Well, you're gonna be!" John growled and grabbed his son by the arm again.

He spun him sideways to deliver a handful of swats that had Stiles dance around on his tiptoes to try and get away from his dad's hand.

"Ow!" he cried out and felt embarrassment fill him.

John proceeded to yank Stiles out of the room, down the stairs and out of the Miller residence. Claudia followed and quickly said goodbye to Mr. Miller when they passed him in the hall.

xxx

"I don't believe this," John scolded as he kept marching Stiles towards their house further down the road, "You need to behave or we can't bring you anywhere!"

"Well I didn't ask to come" the boy shot at his parents, anger coursing through his small frame, "And I was bored! And there weren't any toys..."

"Well," John said, deflating a bit, "I guess you have a point. But you cannot go around acting like this! Where on earth do you get your ideas Stiles?"

"...from you and Mom," Stiles said and made his parents stop in their tracks.

"What?" Claudia asked in a surprised voice and John spun Stiles around to look his son in the eye.

"What have we talked about when it comes to lying?!"

"I'm not lying!" Stiles yelled indignantly and stomped a foot in the ground, "I saw Mom jump on your bed last week."

John sent his wife an asking glance and Claudia couldn't help but blush a little when she realized that her son had seen her treating the bed like a trampoline. She had been cleaning the house and suddenly an urge to bounce on the bed had filled her and Claudia had been quick to give in to it. She had squealed like a little girl when she felt the whoosh of air in her hair and had decided that adults really should embrace their childish sides more often.

"And you told me about a time when you were a kid and you made a slingshot out of a stick and a rubber band, Dad, and I just figured that the bra and hanger would work as well!"

John cleared his throat and looked at Claudia. He _had_ told that story just recently and John bit the inside of his cheek.

"Well, Stiles, you really shouldn't do what we do but what we say..."

The boy furrowed his brow and looked at his father.

"So I shouldn't call a repair man when a TV breaks? I just need to yell "goddamn work, you old son of a bitch!"?"

Claudia involuntarily let out a choked giggle and John opened and closed his mouth a few times.

"No, Stiles," he said and ran a hand through his hair, "you should definitely call a repair guy."

"So if I shouldn't do what you do and not what you say, I guess that means I'll just do whatever I like!"  
Stiles sent his parents a beaming smile and skipped down the sidewalk towards their house.

"Nice try, but forget it pal!" John shouted, "you're grounded, mister, so get that butt inside to your room."

"I'm already grounded, Dad," Stiles yelled back when he reached the front yard to the Stilinski house.

John sighed and sent his wife an exasperated look. She smiled wryly and grabbed John's hand.

"You just got owned by a seven-year-old, honey."

"What are we gonna do about that kid, Claudia? He's too damn smart for his own good and overly prone to land himself in trouble!"

"Well, I suppose anything else would be a surprise with these parents, right?"

John gave his wife's hand a squeeze and looked at his son who was entering the house.

"Yeah, you're right, Claudia, but when are you not! I guess we'll just have to prepare for some eventful years!"

John sighed to himself. He might not yet know just how eventful the years would become, but one thing he did know; when Stiles Stilinski was your son life would never be boring!

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**I'm so sorry for the corny ending, guys. If you feel so inclined please leave some feedback.**

**\- RecliningHorizontally **


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